So over a week with no posts. It was a goal of mine to try to be consistent, but, the daily posts about how I was not meeting the goal of restoring the social in my life started to feel a bit pathetic. But, did I change my behavior? No, no I did not.
I with I had posted about the Death Valley trip just after it happened, when my memories were sharpest. I had gone there alone on the day after my birthday, and the goal of the trip was to (honestly, earnestly) plead with God for guidance. And I did.
I camped off a dirt road, probably a half mile away from the next campsite. In the darkness, after sunset but before moonrise, I stood naked and alone in the darkness, drinking whiskey and praying to God for something. Guidance? Purpose?
It had been probably decades since I had done anything like that. I believe and hope that no one could have seen me in the darkness and the solitude of the desert, lest I would die of shame of my own ridiculousness, but, it was spiritual, almost holy.
The next day, I wandered Death Valley, exploring the creeks and rills left over from the rain from the hurricane a couple of weeks prior. Most of the park was closed off, but, I found a few creeks, some salty, some fresh.