The morning of the day that Mom and I were to do the 300 mile trek up the 5 to visit family, she broke down in tears about how my brother wasn't coming. It wasn't about this Thanksgiving, but, about a lifetime of hurts. She assumed that Steve wasn't coming …read more
Discipline has collapsed over the last couple of weeks, when I needed it.
I should note that the big event of the last couple of weeks was the Math for America fundraiser. Mayor Garcetti was there, and another outgoing city councilman. As well as several other rich dudes and bigwigs …read more
Saturday, I had a chance to spend time with Tyler, my former foster kid. Since all of the videogames in the place are put away due to ongoing construction chaos, I though to take him to the Peterson Automotive Museum. I was worried if he'd take an interest in it …read more
Following on from yesterday's plan to try to see the world through rose-colored glasses, today I decided that I would actualize the world of a romantic comedy. I showered and shaved, wore dressy clothes, and took the train to work. I can't say that the world itself became more pleasant …read more
I got up early enough to take the metro to work. The E to the K, then a shuttle bus from The K to The C, then The C to work.
One reason I keep trying to take the light rail to work, even though it takes twice as long …read more
I got up a bit late and had to do the calculus between the 30 minute drive and the 1 hour 5 minute travel on the bus. Expediency won out, so I drove. But it wasn't just expediency exactly. Part of it was that -- with my mom around -- I do …read more
Cousin Brandon dropped by on the way to Disneyland, with his wife and two little girls. We went to the local park for a bit, and then came back to the house for some pizza and soda. It was good to seem them again. In my 20 years here, they'd …read more
Another beautiful day for Ciclavia. This one was downtown, South Park to Chinatown, and Echo Park to Mariachi Plaza over the 6th St Bridge. Stephen and I went in the late morning, and covered the whole route. It was joyful.
Near the end, my back started to struggle, but, one …read more
Eager to check out the new K Line, I hopped on around mid-day and headed south. The K Line is lovely in every possible way: the subway stations are clean and quality. Everyone on the train was enthusiastic about the new infrastructure. It was great to have a little bit …read more
The sale of the condo closed today. The money has been received. I've never sold property before. I'm still not sure if this is a huge mistake, but what is done is done.
I spent an hour with the physiotherapist. She suggested new exercises for my back.
Spent some time …read more
Around 7:30, I took the Expo Line into DTLA and then hoofed it a few blocks west to Teragram. As per usual, the Expo Line was filty, given that it is more a daycare for homeless than an actual means of transportation. Food waste and trash everywhere.
I've been …read more
Hung out with Brice today.read more
Bro and Mom barely speak now. Bro is nearly mute. Mom tries to interact, asking hopefully benign questions. Bro feels interrogated and shuts down more. Mom needles bro hoping for any sort of human reaction. Bro stays in room all day watching TV, avoiding contact.
I have never been a …read more
For years, the chimney of the house has been slowly separating from the main body of the house. Each year the top of the chimney had leaned a couple of millimeters farther, with the crack and gaps getting wider, letting in the rain and making a quick entry for rats …read more
So over a week with no posts. It was a goal of mine to try to be consistent, but, the daily posts about how I was not meeting the goal of restoring the social in my life started to feel a bit pathetic. But, did I change my behavior? No …read more
With my birthday soon upon me, a handful of well wishes arrived via a variety of platforms: phone, text, Facebook, Twitter. I received more communication than I expected given my 2022 hermit existance.
I've somehow allowed myself to be lured back into hobby hacking. I think with so many people …read more
I pushed a new release of guile-ncurses out the door. As per usual, I didn't manage to get all the details on the announcement email correct.
I don't know how many days in a row I can say that I failed to do exercise, or social. Just computer screens.read more
Another humid day, but, Hurricane Kay has almost faded away.
I just spend all day in my room, trying to work, not working, and not leaving the desk because I've done nothing. Tomorrow, I'll be found out for a fraud, but, still that doesn't break through my attention deficit.
In …read more
With the heat broken and humidity from Hurricane Kay slowly fading, it was almost pleasant outside today, for those few brief moments I stepped out of the bedroom office. Morning new still dominated by the death of the Queen. I had much respect for her, but, clearly she was not …read more
Yesterday, I wrote how I needed to get back to finding the social element in everything. Supposedly newly dedicated, today I could have gone to church, but, I didn't. Usually when I'm bailing on going to church, it is because I have some weak argument about how this is not …read more
It is already September and I've accomplished nothing I had planned for myself for 2022: no fitness, no album, no writing, no progress. The black dog of despondency is gnawing at my heels.
Usually at these times I imagine some future event or milestone that will help be break out …read more
- a hello world post read more
Yesterday, I actually went to the gym. I took it super easy, just a couple of machines. I'm still completely sore today. I knew that it was going to be horrible. I'm so angry at myself that I let myself give up and end up here, but, I had to …read more